When my grandmother passed away in Vancouver, my parents went to pick up her remains but were not sure how to handle the whole procedure. In the end, someone recommended cremation and they were able to carry her ashes back to NY. A friend of my parents suggested the monastery which at the time, was virtually a new establishment. It houses the largest Buddha in North America and when I first saw it, it was sitting out in the elements. They had to construct the building around it.
The ashes are kept in an area called The Thousand Lotus Memorial Terrace. Since my grandmother was interred there, another section was built which is where my father is.
It's all done by lottery. When we went to make the arrangements for my father, we were to pick out a slip of paper from a large jar. As it were, the spot was excellent. Second section, fifth column in, second from the bottom. As we signed the papers, a white butterfly flitted around us. I have to admit, I didn't see it but Kathy did and ever since, I see white butterflies at the strangest time. Usually upstate around the area where my dad would take his walks. I rarely see them in Queens but the day I got my new car, it happened so quickly I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do. But as I drove my beloved Eclipse to the dealer for the final exchange, I came to a red light and a white butterfly landed on my side mirror. It was so odd to see but I knew right then, my dad was giving his "thumbs up".
They hold 2 ceremonies a year for the placement of the ashes and when it was time for my dad's...there were thousands of people since we all had to wait for the new "wing" to be built. There's a ritual. After the blessings, one family member picks up the urn and carries it to it's final resting place. With so many people, again, it was a lottery system as to where you would be in line. My mom reached in and came up with number 1! My dad hated waiting around during events. He didn't have the patience. So this was so amazingly "just". As in "just like my dad". As soon as I placed him in his spot, we could leave. While the 100th person had to stay and wait his/her turn.
Kathy, Tony & I try to go twice a year...around Father's Day and then in October which is his birthday month. We were just there. As soon as we enter the grounds, there's always a feeling of: Calm. Beauty. Enlightenment.
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