I met Gilda the summer of 1975 when we were attending a summer program at NYU. It was a small class and my first foray into college life. I still remember clearly seeing her for the first time. There are people in your life that seem to always have been there…not really sure how they came into your life. And then there are the ones which the memory is stamped on your brain forever. Gilda was definitely the latter. I was the second person in the classroom. Mark Rayo, another life-time friend was already there. We always joked about that moment since we know exactly what we said to each other. To break the ice, I asked him for the time and he told me. As other students drifted in, murmuring greetings, it was fairly quiet and everyone was low-keyed not knowing what to expect. Then a girl sauntered in, worn jeans tucked in Frye boots, a gauzy peasant blouse and a kerchief wrapped around her head, slapped her large tapestry shoulder bag onto the desk and yelled out “Hi!”. It was jarring but exhilarating. Like that moment when everything is black and white and now we were in Technicolor. My first thought…”Wow…I will never be friends with her…out of my league”.
Gilda was the proverbial “one of a kind”. She exuded the kind of person I wished to be. Just comfortable in her own skin and not scared of “being”. She spoke up and out and laughed a huge laugh. When we broke for lunch, a group of us wandered out to Washington Square Park and stood around getting to know each other and of course, Gilda took up most of the air. I was at once, dismayed and enchanted. Part of me wanted to be “the one” but knew I didn’t really have the “chops” and certainly not in the face of this colorful stranger.
Cut to a year later. We had a year of NYU under our belts and that core group from that summer program was still a tight-knit group. We had classes together, lunched and studied together and sought each other out during breaks. Gilda, Mark, Cindy, Andy, Wayne & me.
During a dude ranch trip, Gilda hooked up with Adam and I became an integral part of their relationship. Adam was living in a NYU dorm on 10th Street whereas both Gilda and I commuted to classes from home, Forest Hills for her, Chinatown for me. I loved Adam for Gilda and I was there from the beginning and became a confidente for both of them. We became super close. I spent a lot of time at that dorm which came full circle when that became Nikki’s freshman residence.
Their blossoming relationship was an essential turning point in my relationship with Gilda. The truth of the matter was that the Gilda everyone saw and loved and admired was all a façade. In the light of her burgeoning love for Adam, her mask came off and she confided all her insecurities to me. She showed herself as “worldly” but she never had a boyfriend until Adam. This was, to say the least, a shock! This gorgeous dark haired, dark eyed beauty who always looked like an exotic Gypsy to me was actually shy and sheltered. Years later I would find out that she had even more secrets about her family life that broke my heart.
In any case, showing her true self to me bonded us forever. When she decided to become an actress, I saw every one of her community playhouse productions and every walk-on part she got on TV. She was one of only two people that was able to immediately elicit a response from Nikki who was shy in front of strangers. I really loved this girl.
The last time I saw her was in LA. She had decided to move there for her health and career. Unfortunately the move didn’t help either situation. Her cancer returned and when she contacted me to let me know, I am so glad I made plans to go see her. Nikki and Evelyn came along and it was a wonderful visit. I lost her 3 months later. It was to say the least, devastating. I miss her everyday.
Gilda & me, her brother Rennie and Nikki in Santa Monica
I think of her today because of her birthday but also because I have felt many angels around me during this last week since my car accident. She was beautiful when I last saw her even though she was completely bald and I have a stunning photo of her in that state but I can’t locate it. I will post it when I find it.
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