I just learned the history/origin of why my grandparents, father (and mother when it's her time) are where they are for eternity. I thought I knew the whole story but my mother just retold it and so while it's fresh in my mind, I am recording it here for future reference and generations.
My paternal grandmother passed away in Vancouver, March of 1994. My parents flew there to settle all the details. I, in fact, made the reservations and airline tickets for them since I had the travel agency at the time. Not having any plans on what to do with the body, a police officer recommended cremation. Easier to transport and more time to make decisions. Way before my grandmother's passing, Lana Tso from upstate had told my mother that her mother (a devoted buddhist) was interred at a monastery in Carmel, NY. My mother remembered this and had this in mind when they returned with my grandmother's ashes.
The Chuang Yen monastery was in its early development when my parents first visited. The Thousand Lotus Memorial Terrace was already in place and a magnificent Buddha had been commissioned - taking 3 years to sculpt. It is the largest indoor Buddha in North America. They had to construct the building around it after it was completed.
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| Hard to tell here but this beautiful Buddha is huge! |
Lana suggested that my parents add my grandfather's name to the plaque with my grandmother. He is buried in Saskachewan and we never go there. This solution was perfect. My mother added a jade ring that my grandfather used to wear with my grandmother's gold band and along with her ashes was interred in niche A206. The donation was $3000. Niches are chosen by lottery. My parents happened to pick a rather good spot...towards the bottom half of the memorial terrace.
My parents would go twice a year to pay their respects. March and October which are the months that my grandmother and grandfather passed.
When my father passed in June of 2002, there was no question of where he would go. When we went to make the arrangements, we discovered the terrace was filled and a new second terrace was being built. Although we were advised that donation amounts would be raised to possibly $6000 but because my father was first for the new addition, we were told $4000 would be our cost. The niche spot was B5-110. Again, a very good spot - lower half, eye level to visitors.
Interments are twice a year at the monastery. May and October. Unfortunately when October rolled around, the second terrace was still incomplete and we were not able to interred my father until May. We were able to keep him in a special "waiting" room at the monastery until that time. With the delay of months between interments, there were hundreds of people in May. Again, the order of interment was done by lottery. I let my mother picked while I was the one that would place the urn in the niche. She picked #2! My family ALL know how impatient my dad can be at an event. Basically once he gets there, he wants to leave! So with us being #2, we didn't have to wait our turn going through hundreds of people. Once I placed his urn in the niche, we were all able to leave. Amazing!
There is also the story of when we went to make the arrangements. We were in the Main Dining Hall to sign the papers and go through the lottery process.. Kathy noticed a white butterfly flitting around us. And ever since my dad's passing, a white butterfly would appear - always upstate (a place he loved the most and where he passed) and at the most odd places or at times when I felt at a crossroad.
The plaque was engraved incorrectly! My mother requested very simple wording: John Leong, 1929-2002 and then below 4 Chinese characters that said "Canton" & "Toisan". His birthplace. When I saw the newly engraved plaque, everything was fine except they transposed the numbers and instead of birth year 1929, they had 1992 which made him 10 years old when he passed! We had them redo it but in doing so, they seemed to have scraped off a layer and thus weakening the material. Every year we visited, the engraving deteriorated until now we no longer see any print at all. But because we thought it could be rectified when it was our mother's time, we did nothing. But it is very distressing. Seeing a blank plaque is as if my father's not even there. Certainly it makes it more difficult to find him if you don't know the exact spot. This year we decided not to wait and needed to fix this.
Kathy & Tony had decided that the monastery would also be their eternal resting place and had made an appointment to reserved their place awhile back. The donation amount was $5000 and although once again, it is the lottery system, they were allowed to keep picking until the niche B-210 (next to my dad's - to his right) was chosen! How wonderful was that?
Since Kathy's name is their contact, she emailed the monastery although she was already in Florida. After some misunderstandings - possibly due to a language barrier, I took over the situation. I knew I would have to go in person. Also it was a perfect opportunity for me to reserve my own niche. I figured the donation amount would have risen to $6000-$7000 so with an unexpected $5000 financial windfall recently, it was a good time to get this done. It would be peace of mind to have taken care of this detail.
So it was a delightful surprise to learn that the amount is still $5000. And although I was prepared to be away from my parents and sister, I was offered the niche next to Kathy & Tony! B-310!
This past Saturday Winnie joined me for a trip to the monastery. I made an appointment to reserve for myself and top of my to-do list - to have my father's plaque redone. Both errands were a success and I am assured my place next to Kathy, Tony & my parents.
There are a number of interesting facts about this occurrence. First, that they allowed it. Second, that I didn't have to "play" the lottery game even for show. And most importantly, that space next to them is even still available! I had noticed that most of the niches around my dad were still empty. It's a much larger terrace than the original one. But still, we could see the other columns filling up each year. But my dad's area was still virtually empty. When I told my mother that I was offered the niche next to my dad and sister, she said that my dad hoarded the space so we could be together! What an absolutely lovely thought!! And I wholeheartedly believe it! xoxo
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| The 2nd Terrace |
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